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LET MARRIAGE BE YOUR FENCE AGAINST:

THE  CONTAGION

 OF  MADNESS

 System Origins of the Female Hysterical Outburst and Why They Get Sick in Relationships.  AKA:    The Contagion of Madness on How He Keeps Her Down, How She Keeps Him Down, How the Herd Keeps Us Down. Evil is like an incendiary flame destroying everything it meets and it comes through people.

Patterns in All Pathological Relationships

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The tremendous energy you're born with is  meant for your destiny, but was blocked--creating a template repeated through  life.  As energy bottles up it recurrently explodes, but if released through self-expression it's WORLD SUCCESS (ending this  mess).  Most people think you can be a success just by being born and that's not true.  You become a champion by overcoming obstruction to find the True You, and that's why genius is so few.

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THE CONTAGION OF MADNESS:

The Psychology of Neurotic Interaction

"Zvengali:  Isolation-Labeled-'Concern".  Zvengali relationships can be had with anyone and all work on the same principle: To maintain the system by increasing the need for it.  The Zvengali isolates his victims by telling all and then calling it "concern".  Then he says "everyone is rejecting you but me".  When others reject her for the pathetic influence behind the scenes, she sees him as "psychic" and loves her protector more. 

"Just for Two Minutes"   Unable to believe he's killing her, she thinks others are trying to and needs him--her savior and protector--all the more.  When she musters the strength to leave he says "just let me see you for two minutes"

Mrs. Social Charm:  True Genius is clearsighted audacity.  Neurosis is:  bumbling audacity.  Trying not to ruffle feathers, but doing just that in blindness, is the ongoing problem of all neurotics and Mrs. Social Charm.

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PERSONAL  PREFACE:

by Karen Kellock, a very happily married woman! "It's an achievement--the greatest in life"

 I've made mistakes--who hasn't?  And I know about relational abuse.  This book began as a Ph.D. Thesis in 1976 (UCI) and now I'm finishing it 33 years later after a "Ph.D. in the streets".  The Contagion of Madness was called The Psychology of Neurotic Interaction then:  "Sick Cycles  in the Sadomasochistic or Alcoholic Marriage: Mate-Selection, Interactional Structures and Styles, and Obstacles to Recovery". That's a lot of words describing  my pain for  your  gain.  It's not  him or her making us insane, but unforgiveness of past systems without refrain.  What is a sick system?  What are the signs?  You'll know it's  old sores are the chain which  binds.

If you cry a lot  it means you've lost  your center.  You've "introjected" another person by swallowing their  reality whole.  You must stop everything  and go within.  Just look out the window and think (be your own friend).  Find emotional satisfaction in nature, times of day, who you are becoming in solitude and who God is.  As you in-gather your forces the voracious need to eat, drink or mate dissolves.  All your problems you'll  find this solves.  We're  way too concerned with society, groups and what people think. As you make your mundane  world absurd you'll see how they  stink!  Your true genius is refined and superior:  what you see all around  is  rinky-dink.

The CONTAGION OF MADNESS is about what happens when distorted implants  rule your mind.  You must mature beyond society and people, finding your genius God designed.  Instead of taking this blessed  adventure people want  to be wined and dined.  My needs for affection  were so great  I wanted to eat everything in sight (voracity) and even get tight (arrogant audacity). Most women eat because they don't feel loved so they use food and drink to turn on the  light.     I overcame these  earthly needs through twenty years alone in nature  but you can transcend  through marriage alone.  If lived right it's a new kind of throne like never you've known:  The Royal Couple is the magic star shown--good for everyone to see, your best seed sown.  But how few people see  solitude as good for the soul--they just endure or fight with  the foe.  Not me I've got to be free and for a wonderful marriage,  that's  key.

 THE CONTAGION OF MADNESS  is Systems-Analytic:  pathological systems and interactions.

HOW ENERGY IS BLOCKED 

Clear, you multi-adapt to an ever-changing universe and succeed (a perfect hit) every time.  Dense, you mal-adapt through disease, blindness and being hooked.  The True Self is spirit, which is energy—it cannot be held down without severe and painful results.  Releasing blocked energy brings self-expression—the raw talents in the fine design, but Genius is held down by prideful puffed-up powers exalting themselves above God.  Thinking they are God (new age slogan) they are jealous of the talents coming through you.  It’s a spiritual war between clear and dense (good and evil).  The involvement of human networks in mental illness has occurred since time began and is the human condition.  Creative energy being blocked by other people has severely painful and traumatic results:  depression, low self-esteem and the compulsion to fail (or ending in a mental institution or jail from exploding tantrums).  This is an urgent problem in an addictive society because for every addict there are four people sick, i.e. the “contagion of madness”

                                                                                                                   THE POUNCER 

The cruelian demands you love him when you don’t anymore.  If you discuss with him he demands you adapt to his logic (and it’s tragic).  His reality is superior, yours illogical. If he screams and you’re silent  to avoid abuse it’s  “hostility”.  It’s a double-bind situation from which there is no escape.  He’s always looking for an excuse to scream, attack and injure as his cold eyes resemble a wild animal waiting for his moment to pounce.  He loves making you nervous about every word you say.  The pain of persecution from cruelians dissolves when you understand it at this higher level:  by seeing the incredible pressure between his true and false identity we can end the pain caused by troublemakers  who explode with (often “polite”) cruelty as a bio-device to release the misused energy from maintaining contradiction.  They are helpless—seeing this will switch your state from fear to insight.  

Perception prevents pain but refusing to see what is going on allows the cruelian to confuse, cajole and cause you to cringe.  It strikes horrors and brings nausea to the sensitive:  his anxious face, resentful words and empty life which strikes fear like the desolation of hell.  Putting you in recurrent fear is his invisible crime as his defeats become your worries.  Let these outbursts become a blessing, for visions spring from crises!  Use terrible traumas and tantrums to reveal solutions while giving you the will to act on them.  God doesn’t want you to be hurt and destroyed by evil—only seeing through empty (though glittering) social rewards brings joy, so ask yourself:  “Do I want to be here with him (them)?  Success comes with seeing through the world’s false front and fun which is pure foolishness.  Once seen, your own sickness goes lean, now you can just walk and enjoy each scene.  It was only denial degrading you  with spouse, family or teen.

THE  CONTAGION  OF  MADNESS

The cruelian is compelled to win the debate, score the ego point, be a hero and demolish his fellows to feel good.  He’s a conquistador.  He wants his wicked ways to work but knows they won’t.  In conflict he can’t believe in himself so why should you?  If you do he’ll hate you for your foolish flattery or fawning over a fake like him, so there is no winning in this situation.   The fool (like you and me) tries to please the cruelian thinking he’ll be loved but in so doing he becomes spiritually weak while declaring cruelty as worthy of worship.  Why reward the ruinous and rank?  Some even fear rejecting this misery-maker.  The solution is to realize you’re not losing him but only your delusion that you need him.  Detach, alight, see things right.  Never fight just use spiritual might—transcend like a kite.  It’s your awareness ALONE that subdues those rising up against you, but your blind denial is the glue of gossiping groups. 

WEED   YOUR   FRIENDSHIP  GARDEN 

They are either in, or out.  Those who are IN you love, adore, cherish and reward.  Those OUT you avoid, ignore, disconnect.  Out of your circle they have no way to hurt you again.  You decide, right now—for when all is right with you there will be nothing wrong with your world.  Realize now that it is you who has sent out invitations for this disaster.  Practice IN and OUT for one month.  You will feel more relief than you’ve ever known.  Once someone is designated OUT your inner man realizes he’s a foe or faker and so expects nothing more.  You’ll no longer be hurt by unexpected slights—the King salutes not the foe.  In becoming Queen the outs will never slight you again—they hate you anyway for placating, pandering to and pleading with their sick, silly and sadistic souls.  Some men only love those who can see right through them. So if you want his love designate him OUT—only this brings the respect precursory to love.  Make people win your favor by growing up while never trying to win their favor again. Your new matrix of IN-OUT will form a new future as good as fame and fortune, for in so getting your world organized the relief from tension will open the floodgates of newfound energy—like ocean going through your veins.  It’s an easy way of asserting self in sweet silence, as silence says it ALL—he knows what he did anyway so there is nothing more to say.  Your silence is a siren suggesting they spurt up speedily or “so long, so-low, I’m going solo”.  Since all misjudgment is oppression (indicating you married the wrong man), the IN-OUT matrix removes the mental block keeping you from success.  Now, just enjoy a marriage of convenience until your home comes into order around YOU.

 LABELS AND FABLES 

Take a rattlesnake and call it a “kitten”.  It’s still a rattlesnake.  Ignore his insults and self-flattering labels (braggadocio) and just see realities.  He calls himself a “loving Christian’ to veil his furiously vindictive mind, but just remember it’s the humanitarian groups which hog and horde power and wealth. Stop believing in his nice guy labels especially those put on “popular’  people and their petty past-times.  See their inner realm—you can’t afford not to for the time is late.  You know how your stomach aches?  That’s your sense of evil all around.  The cruelian always excuses brutality, thinking he’s a right to attack.  He loves to rub your nose in the past or betray a promise.  When he justifies, he lies.  Worse, his cruel cronies support his hypocrisy while his very victims see him as a charming though rough “liberator”. 

Remember that domestic violence is always characterized by  coercive control and psychological abuse. Victimization is associated with alterations in the perception of the perpetrator (that he’s omnipotent) but also alterations in the victim's perception of self:  self-blame, shame, low self-esteem, extreme melancholy and crying spells combine with defenses to cope like denying the existence or severity of the abuse.  Acts of contrition and intermittent kindness maintain the union and give false hope that this hell  will end but as it continues you'll see his trend and become your own best friend.  For people who witnessed violence in their own family as children will usually imitate it as adults.  There are  conditions that produce stress and conflict such as low income occupations, unemployment or low social support from family or friends that create high levels of stress.  The Zvengali isolates his victims so you must start a friend support system to get out of this mess.  Military men who've  learned to resolve conflict with violence may automatically use it to cope with stress.  From a societal perspective, violence against women has been  accepted by society, law and religion throughout time.  Even now in America traditional male dominance condones  violence for control as women are assumed to be inferior:  One minister I called for counseling asked "what did you do to bring this on?"--like as if smashing things was justified.  Subordinated, women become fearfully dependent and subject to demands and abuse of mates which is primarily psychological--like  yelling or humiliating them publicly (e.g. neighbors) thus confirming their one-down status (“you’re crazy and everyone knows it”).  

BREAKING  TRUST

Violence by a person in a position of trust impairs the child's or wife’s ability to trust others. Exposure to recurring traumatic experiences in early childhood places a child at much greater risk of long-term psychological, emotional and behavioral problems. The psychological impact is far more far-reaching and surely creates physical symptoms.  If you feel scared, nervous and sick that's  from this abuse.  I have experienced it and took “quiet” steps to deal with it like establishing a reliable friendship base with trustworthy women who loved God, while continuing to be pleasant and keep perfect house.  There would be no more loud arguments with this man, I’d learned my lesson by then so just remained above criticism (with him I’d never win).   Foremost I started to build up my self-esteem through diet, yoga and remaining poised.  Of particular importance was not taking the victim role for that put caregivers (even friends) in the superior position which made the problem worse.   I grew up with the goal of superiority by writing this book.  I know women compound their problem by bringing others in to confirm they've  been victimized, rather than just knowing it and calmly taking a new route (no more pout) .

HOW TO WAIT ON  ESCAPE

I love the Psalms: “Because of the voice of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked who  bring down trouble upon me and who  in wrath  hate me.  My heart is severely pained within and the terrors of death have fallen upon me.  Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me and horror has overwhelmed me.  God will hear and afflict them.  Because they do not change, therefore they do not fear God.  The words of his mouth were smoother than butter but war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil yet they were drawn swords.  Cast your burden on the Lord for He shall never permit the righteous to be moved but will bring them down to the pit of destruction; bloodthirsty and deceitful men shall not live out half their days  but I will trust in you.  Be merciful to me for my soul trusts in you and in the shadow of your wings I will make my refuge until these calamities pass.  Reproach the one who would swallow me up for my soul is among lions—I lie with men who are set on fire, whose teeth are spears and arrows and their tongue a sharp sword.  They have prepared a net for my steps; my soul is bowed down; they have dug a pit before me but into the midst of it they themselves have fallen (Psalms 57-59). 

To continue about your abuser:  “The wicked are estranged from the womb; they go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies.  Their poison is like the poison of a serpent; they are like the deaf cobra that will not heed the voice of charmers…The rigtheous shall rejoice when he sees the vengeance; he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked…scatter them and bring them down, O lord our shield.  For the sin of their mouth and the words of their lips, let them even be taken in their pride and f or the cursing and lying which they speak…consume them that they may not be and let them know that God rules. 

SECRET WORLD OF SAFETY

To detach without being hit or humiliated again, live in your own secret world.  You can't change a mean man but you can unchain through a "secret world of safety".  Never let him know how childish, brutish and ignorant he is.  keep your wisdom to yourself and your secret world will be a happy world.  Never try to prove your right, or that you're the victim (because he'll say he is).  Just rely on God to be your champion.  Be careful if you're a lettered or professional woman, and your husband is not, for his ego's at risk and that can bring more psychic violence and withdrawal (even adultery).   In my desert solitude I can turn from man, mass or mess to face the beautiful mountain vistas and suddenly the miraculous moment takes over as all worldly wasters go "strangely dim".  Everyone--both the abuser and mis-advisors--are on probation here for no one can compete with eternity.  This is what we should always turn to when people problems persist.  Go tell it on the mountain so the OUTS dissolve or die and the INS can co-enjoy eternal easy and ecstasy.  I invited my dearest friends over for daily walks while my fear and low self-esteem gradually lessened.  Friendship became paramount while waiting on God.

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As is the case with anorexics, Savant-Autistics, melancholy poets, reclusive artists, suicidal hermits or  ANAS  (mature recovered anorexics who remain  hyper-sensitive and reclusive)  some people are just too sensitive to adapt to autocratic  males.   There can be a  sharpness to the militaristic personality that's like living  in a grenade-range. I do admire the military  but  my adaptation was  another problem altogether:  we're talking  stormy weather.  I often wanted to die and all I did was cry.  Here's some methods I used to stay married enthused rather than exhausted, sick and confused--then I promise it'll all end up passion-fused.

Besides establishing your own interests, watch your diet.  Being sensitive, starches and sugar (even too much fructose) is dangerously body-distorting, constipating, candida-forming and depressing.  Respect your finely-tuned instrument which can't eat like the others.   Minimize to turn on your might and maintain perfect balance in stormy weather!  Do ONE MEAL of DOUGHLESS PIZZA and with all morbid depressed thoughts you'll sever.  To be happy stay in  fasting consciousness of SMALL BUT NUTRIONALLY DENSE MEALS:  mighty mouse meals!  Then come all profitable deals, ESPECIALLY 'cuz you're done with the heels.  The higher the diet (paleo-fastarian)  the more joy  remains, the more you'll stay nice  and  creative  (i.e. sane).  Also get into SUN, just a spot  is fine:  stretch out each day for a  time.  You'll elongate and gentle-ize (the personality becomes kind).   Take walks in the sun and look around.  Remember the only goal which is sound:  happy marriage not marital depression  the sadly scary  merry-go-round. 

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Movies on HYPER-SENSITIVE  FEMALES. ADAPTATION TO  MANLY MEN:

STREETCAR NAMES DESIRE

GASLIGHT

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Keep your face in the bible opening it up anywhere.  Jesus knew all about human persecution and was killed by it.  He loves and cares for the plight of females in a male world where the dominant reality  is male.  Pray to Jesus throughout the day while your people-problems persist--I do when wondering if  it's  the  Devil I kissed.  It wasn't so much Mr. Great  but the dominant male  view  that hissed.  Keep your focus on PSALMS and PROVERBS, so you can see what is what, right and wrong--that's the GIST.

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THE MALE NEEDS THE FEMALE--HER REALITY , that is.

But the female also needs the male so understand before you  set sail  for when the honeymoon is over brides start to wail (I did too but was determined not to fail).  For Mr. Great had so much to give but my mal-adaptations were making things  worse and in extreme sensitivity it felt like a curse.  I couldn't ask for  better but I was mal-adapting and many of you feel just the same:  Vibrant at first soon you're mentally lame.  You want to go back from whence you came and marriage seems a sham and a shame.

Do your work with all diligence and protect your charges from male abuse (I mean "discipline") so that  female gentleness and tenderness reigns, after all you  create the home (it's to you he complains).  The home is our bio-environment, for Man is an ADAPTIVE animal.  He adapts to his environment and you're going to create it  (when it's insane (dirty, disordered) he'll be  insane).  But if you maintain the clean order of Harriet Craig (the movie's  negative portrayal of which  turned women against home-making) no matter what's going on the outer your family  stays  happy.  The home should be a pleasant island in the sea of sharks--make the grounds into beautiful parks and love the jerk no matter how much he barks.   He knows he's a mean creep but needs you in his sleep!  The path to connubial bliss is steep but with perseverance this Union God will keep.

God hates divorce and you don't want to be on his bad side (since it's just to Him  you'll confide).  Trust no man the Bible says and I agree--restrain yourself from a gossiping spree when un-free in the deep dark marital sea.  Just get into your own reality (take a walk, go to your  cabin or pet a dog or cat).  Wait a while so he can self-confront  (see himself as a rat).  I say WAIT--for we're all flawed sinners open  to rile after we walk down the aisle.  Let your fantasies of married life go, and know:  that All Men Are  Sinners from Adam to Now.

Even if he hits you stay forgiving and kind.  I know that sounds masochistic but if you stay a lady (i.e. quiet, orderly and refined) the man will turn around and be loving (you'll be wined and dined).  Women are no longer ladies of the historical kind, but  to a man it's a real find, rarer than rubies (he'll no longer resent the chains that bind).  It's all because women have become manly, cluttered, cheap and immoral that man becomes abusive (cruel and blind).  All men are sinners but he'll  TRANSFORM and be so grateful that for his whole life it  was with you  he signed.

   MARRIAGE IS  TRUE  FREEDOM but...

Persevere so life can come together as a jigsaw puzzle.  Melancholy and depression is part of adaptation to cruel  circumstances.  The problem is everyone is split from early trauma or identity conflict which is projected onto others.  This split can be healed through marriage but it takes tenacity, faith  and endurance. Mr. Great  and I have two cabins and we spend a lot of creative time apart.  I take long nature walks and look out the window while thinking of God--what a lark!   While with liberals or other degrading systems  I lose my center and start to cry (I never know why) until again alone on my unique throne.  This comes from twenty years in solitude and resources gathered therein. Understanding this Mr. beautified and upgraded each cabin.  To make a happy marriage you must maintain your own realities and this complementary fit is where God sits, amen!  For He designed marriage between man and wife (only in this era do we see such strife).

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 From Ph.D. These 1976 UCI, KAREN KELLOCK.COM  will be all "system-analytic" on pathologic interactions:

"In sick systems there is rigid, stereotyped and and predictable role reciprocity.  Corresponding alternating role changes are made when one member switches to a role previously occupied by another.  Thus, as long as each of the component roles is filled, the system roles remain unchanged despite individual change, and this may explain the appearance of profound  disorganization.  Therefore no true role change or working-through can occur without a corresponding change in the system, but  efforts of  dissatisfied members to change the system have the paradoxical effect of perpetuating it.  The persistence of the sick system is the result of the (victim, or patient's) preference for his own symptoms rather than EITHER facing the morbid past OR because maturing beyond the system would cause  suffering, disequilibrium and painful adjustment of the other.  Because deviation from any family rule is punishable by threatened abandonment, the victim may think: "peace at any price" and in many cases that may be true (like adjusting to marriage as a business relationship or a convenience, like a necessary evil while providing  a hedge keeping predators at bay). " --1976 Ph.D. Dissertation: "A Systems-Theoretic View of Systems Pathology" by Karen Kellock

 {2010} However, if peace means losing your True (God-designed) Self--from living in a hostile or fearful environment which dulls your creative instincts and makes you unhappy--there's going to be repercussions in your personality, body and mind.    This can mean feelings of depression, sadness, extreme chemical sensitivity, low self-esteem, fat and  food-allergies, anorexia, insomnia, fear of aging and showing the signs.    It's all from people creating more bad habits and then eating wrong.  First off  you must reject the throng--that's the herd in everyone and this baggage weighs a ton.   To heal  I must have solitude  so the "cultural hypnotic" unpeels--for  its your ENERGY it steals, along with bad meals. Though spouses can be  heals  you  must adapt no matter how  he  feels.  You must go inside and develop your own integrity, not make  your spouse into a God:  Coming from a Christian, is this not odd?  No, because if your spouse is like Marquis de Sade  it's only him he applauds (self-assertion gets you  the rods).  Stop trusting man and go deep inside.   Now that you know he's only man  you can take it in your stride.  Be like a child who has no choice but to adapt to abusive parents who smash things and scare--many  became great artists and scientists (extremely rare).  At the very least, learn to be a reader, form your own separate, sound and SANE reality while living with hostility.  Of this I have great felicity.

The typically violent effort of the "well" members to break free usually means their old conflicts are superimposed onto the new relationships.  Emotional disengagement through moving on  is an illusion.  Strong forces are operating with those who stay or leave to stop psychic growth and replicate stereotypic concepts, family myths or shared delusions to which all must conform.  Group pressures can be very persuasive even if members see the standards as erroneous (is this not the entire new age of baby-boomers who resemble hillbillies or angry bearded bikers?)  Mob rule (majority opinion)  can pressure a naive subject to question his own senses and conform to bizarre standards:  family pressures and forces are extremely powerful though subtle.  In relationship, much of that power comes from sex.  (Perhaps your should be celibate for a season in that system).  But the child has minimal choice but to conform to the unrealities and neuroses of the parent.  I think the answer to all our relational miseries is to be that child again: become your own best friend along with Jesus, amen.

Interactional testing approaches in social psychology confirms the holistic, irreducible dynamics and unique properties of the group which are non-deducible from the characteristics of the members.  Test on  individuals followed by joint responses of disturbed families revealed joint reality distortions, activation of latent pathology by the other's manifest pathology, one partner's expression of the other's deeper disturbances, sadomasochistic connivances, deference of the healthier partner to the sicker, absence of affect in each other's responses, enhancement or regression as a function of combined endeavor, etc.  In contrast to normal groups, joint intelligence scores went down as a function of pathological interaction, with thinking reduced to its lower common denominator!  The group, then, has holistic, nonsummative effects on mind and personality.  I've had it with this--it's back to sweet solitude, a sweet lass with nothing amiss.  Un-debased from dulled  conformity is what brings my husband's kiss. 

The fact that family members do not learn from or teach each other may be seen as  "poverty of concept formation".  New concepts are not formed and new ones imposed are  negated while stereotyped concepts ( family myths or delusions) remain unchanged.  Sick systems seek only to maintain themselves, the status-quo level of inefficacy.  In clinical forms, the result is noisy, repetitive conversation and flat or inappropriate disorder:

Implicit in this view is the active role the child plays in system-maintenance once established by parents made weak through prior systems (and  bad eating)   and degradation through the schools  from  false social dogma (the new tolerance) and liberalism--making the parents impotent in applying discipline.  The sin, nastiness and utter filthiness that results from this lack of restriction is appalling.  Read on and find yourself clarifying as you see the herd's influence for what it is--something to be rid of. 

Note:  Do NOT talk to your friends and family about any marital difficulties  for they may be jealous from their own loss and will surely  mis-advise.  Many a great marriage has been destroyed thusly so stick to God and spiritual reading or counseling.  Let all worldly distractions go and just fast, look out the window, write down your thoughts, take nature walks and stretch (yoke to God).  Make no major decisions and remember this:  God hates divorce which often ends in humiliation, depression, ruin, suicide and destitution.  Try to work things out with this in mind being ever in prayer.  Just enjoy the seasons of the day, do your errands and chores and take care of your kids and pets--make them happy and straight, ok?  Look at the stars, feel the sun and always stay open to God who  must have brought you two together.   Because we're so messed  up in this world  our God-chosen mate  may be the one we hate the most when in REALITY, if things were right {with you} you'd be birds of a feather.

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  Reactions to

 The Contagion of Madness:  

 

1 Women eat because they get no real love:  sex and love is handed out conditionally by the male who easily withdraws all affections to "punish" or "discipline" the female.  A woman can either EAT at this and get fat, or she can grow up and realize that his withdrawal of affections IS the divorce.  Marriage is love not hate. The bible warns us about letting the sun go down in our anger--things could really boomerang by morn' and you gotta know love comes first.  If the female's got a love thirst it's husband's job to fill it.   PEW Trenton

2 I agree there's a harshness, bite, meanness and loudness to manly males that is too much for us anas who are feminine.  We are alone because of this. i am 55 and have been single all my life.  I don't have female friends (that i can trust) and men keep me on the edge.  i don't like men because they are cruel and unkind--oh, they are kind for a while and then suddenly BANG they become bastards in a loud voice again.  Keep up the good work. Ana Belle

3Thank you so much  for this.  i  was so fed up with the harshness of my husband and he even hit me.  I started divorce proceedings, but then I read this.  i changed and became a lady and I got into my own thing. We are very happy now and i have you to thank for this. you took me out of the phony feminist generation all around me and put me back where I belong--in the coziness of my own home which i am making like Rome.  My husband has truly changed and I know if i stay refind he'll be all mine.  We love our marriage now.

4How naive men seem to be! What they need to know is despite their heroic lovemaking, one disrespectful word later is enough to nullify the whole experience, turning  it into dirt.  But of course  a man would never know that hurt.  You apparently think females should put up with man's terrible tempers and just forget it like it never happened!  Forgiveness is not forgetting---Hanny from Ohio 

5The reason women don't want sex from hubby is cuz he makes life pure hell otherwise. This website is about a spiritual life not man's prurient needs so I look forward to knowledge about solitude--that is, euphoria when fasting and free of people problems.  Jhv 

6Men speak so much about marital sex as if its utopia.  But do you realize how men become cold afterwards.  This is called post-orgasmic withdrawal (pow wives) and women sense it on very deep levels.  Then they speak of forgiveness.  hah.  A woman will forgive a man's violence of smashing things yet a man will repeat her bad remarks a 1000 times to drive it in how bad she is.  I think they don't have a clue and i am looking forward to your new  website spelling out how to get free of this  mayhem.  The Contagion of Madness is what I need to know about.  Nicola Frebrera, Brazil

7This is going to be truly great, original, audacious and true as everything you do.  I'm so glad you've gone back to your original work on systems theory--how people drive each other crazy.  Your friend Tom (congrats on your new marriage).

8Whenever my husband and I argue he yells out loud in front of the neighbors to degrade me.  I have told him i hate this but he never learns and always uses it again.  I had to move out just to save my reputation.  i think this is the lowest tactic a man could ever use against a woman.  This man knows nothing about privacy--except protecting his own, of course.  He is as lowdown as they come.  Mary

      karenkk@cableusa.com.

KAREN KELLOCK