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7
THE
LOGIC OF ANOREXIA
Staying Free of Tyranny and High
in the Head: This is Mature Ana
by Karen Kellock Ph.D.
KAREN IMAGES
*********
Preface 2009:
We live in a world of extreme obesity which has escalated since this page first came out in 2000. At that
point it made a major dent but was then
perverted through immature "pro-ana"
sites. Amazingly,
unbelievably, incredibly the human race has become monstrous.
This is all due to soy in everything, aspartame and a low-fat starchy
diet. The way people have become so fat and big is like living
in a science fiction movie--and it is not true that "people come in
all sizes". Going to any other big city is like a obesity horror
story yet never have anas been so maligned--just take a look at
anorexia on "you tube". No longer is it fashionable or the "in crowd"
or "club". it's all because the AMA is making so much money from the
diseases coming from obesity, "anti-cholesterol drugs" and other
scams.
*********
Author’s
Note: Fat-Fasting is good, but bulimia is bad! But if there is no
bulimia I believe Anorexia Psychosa to be a most misunderstood
disease, as some of the characteristics labeled “sick” are
actually healthy or at least appropriate reactions to the system
and predicament she is in. In this section I will illustrate
this point and up-level the status of the much-maligned and
lonely anorexic: full and food fears, isolation, insulation,
cerebrotonia, ectomorphy, food discipline, order and routine,
fasting used as a device to overcome, black sheep separation,
aversions of lustful advances and aggression combined with
eventual celibacy, separation from female culture, and her
perception of many as frogs and toads (to the refined anorexic
they seem carnal, absurd, obscene and vulgar).
INTRO TO SOCIETY AND GROUPS
The issue of
anorexia relates to much larger issues about society and groups:
systems theory, how people act in groups, how females are expected to
conform, the implications of sexism in family-groups-church, what its
like to be an ectomorph in a endomorphic-mesomorphic world, the signs
and reactions of healthy individuals to domination, the acculturation
process and how people take it for granted as mundane reality, what
they do to outsiders or those who think differently, how female
culture treats unique women (i.e. those who refuse to conform to the
banal--those fashionable current “truths” which are simply fads of
thought) and what it means to be politically-correct and what happens
to those who are not. I say anorexia is the reaction of a
hypersensitive who is aware of all of the hurtful nuances of humans in
systems and that the characteristics below are just appropriate
adaptation to that set-up. I contend that the anorexic doesn’t
recover--become a mature lady--until she acquires the Diet of
Freedom: insulation into her own stream.
FULL PHOBIA
It is very
inefficient to be full--all the energy is dragged down to the gut out
of the head. As a birdlike engine, to the anorexic this can be a
terrible “drag.” East Indians laugh at how Americans are always
eating and thus bringing energy down to the gut. It makes no sense,
since keeping that energy high is where you get the genius, the
inspiration, the brilliance as the spirit of God comes through, as
well as the overcoming power over herd resistances to strength.
Fasting is a matter of synaptic clarity--for pure conductivity to the
source.
What becomes
addicting is using food as a means of handling low self-esteem:
eating when one feels “put down”. The energy is taken out of the
head to avoid the conflict between the real (how we see ourselves) and
the social (how others see us) image. Eating is avoidance and thus
becomes very addicting: As her situation with family and
world degrades, her eating disorder gets worse since its function is
a coping device. She binges so her self-esteem will be tolerable but
when full or digesting she loses this power and purges to regain it.
Fasting soon solves the self-esteem problem through a much more
transcendent, happy view of life. The anorexic knows this and comes
to use fasting to stay “on top” of things.
She knows the pure
power of a clear brain, an elongated head, a beautiful face drawn taut
from the fasting process, the sense of accomplishment that brings the
necessary boldness to effect others, the spiritual elevation, clarity
and inspiration--all from fasting. Fasting is not a sickness. Which
group is sick: the eaters to avoid and stultify or the fasters to see
and create? This culture is not into fasting—it is Dionysian, not
introspective, so those who go inside are labeled “sick” so the others
can maintain their delusion that “they need to eat.”
The anorexic has fasting consciousness--the others tend towards swine
consciousness.
FOOD PHOBIA
for
Good Reason!
The anorexic sees
the relation between food and fat. Being birdlike she feels the
effects of food far more than her heftier peers. They can eat
anything and feel little difference while everything she eats seems to
bring fatigue (energy down from the head) or that hated huskiness.
She begins to feel that “all food is poison.” At first she rejects
all food but fruit, which seems pure. But fruit creates cravings and
mood swings leading to binges--and great suffering/reverberation from
her network like threats of institutionalization. The wise woman
won’t stand for that and ends up on a diet of
SUPERFOOD SMOOTHIES-ONLY which
creates stability and suppresses appetite for long periods of fasting
while still maintaining “normal” slimness—the recovered bulimic need
never be seen eating again.
She’s astute--food
phobia is rational. Once one finds the problem it is wise to avoid
it. If she was bulimic she likely gave herself hyperinsulinism and
suppressed immunity so as she matures beyond bulimia she may avoid
sugars and starches to keep insulin down to eliminate mood swings,
constriction, water retention, puffiness, hunger and craving,
depression or fatigue. She seeks health and wealth through food
restriction for it can never be gained through undisciplined eating.
Food phobia is good, true and very wise. It’s the difference between
a great day and a damned day, so efficiency is not a disease!
ISOLATION
Its hardly a
cerebrotonic culture--few embark on an inner journey. As the culture
gets more superficial and shallow it also gets more carnal and
vulgar--there is a wider gulf between the inner-driven anorexic and
the fattening culture at “large.” It is disconcerting being a tiny
hypersensitive amidst the bigger and grosser who all seem to be
dominating her life and telling her what to do. As a cerebetomic she
hates domination--as the mesomorph’s control and the endomorphs
gossip, she feels squashed. Naturally she seeks isolation and delves
into her own reality for even when they fail to find a flaw they
forever pull the age card. There’s no winning in crowds or clans when
envy’s all around.
The anorexic is
constantly feeling the tyrannical constraints of relationships. As
she matures she learns how to manage this disposition for a pain-free
life. The issue is remaining invulnerable, achieved by being
inaccessible and distant. The control devices that others see as
normal she experiences as suffocating and cruel. As the social
culture cajoles her to go out and do more, her solitude becomes ever
more desired, inspiring and peaceful.
She feels set apart—sanctified,
even holy--though persecuted and despised. It is solitude that
develops intuition and if maintained despite all resistances (the
conspiracy against privacy) she will win every time. She is following
the steps of history’s spiritual giants spending years in the desert
wilderness. Her true friends help her to glory in solitude and grow
in intuition not “correct the condition” of “social anxiety
personality disorder”. How many genius cerebs have died through
suicide or drugs due to this misdiagnosis we will never know.
INSULATION
For the
hypersensitive, to insulate from chaos is enlightenment--a safety
valve, a survival skill, a protection of one’s own reality. If
self-defense and assertion creates problems (as in a big family)
insulation is the only self-defense. Her emotions are magnified in
their presence as she takes the misfit status, for on every nonverbal
level she is disqualified and knows it. It hurts being psychically
attacked by their deep feelings of moral righteousness at her refusal
to conform which is seen as “sin”.
As the anorexic
matures (and having been alone longer) she is surely marching to a
different drummer. That is good--for she’s a walking potentate of
something big and so needs more holy separation and insulation from
those elements advising her to join, co-mingle, socialize. It’s
really hard adapting to all those lies! Any joining would only
restrict what is brewing under the surface, if allowed to develop on
its own accord. The mature anorexic has had it with groups siding
against, mocking or stigmatizing her differences.
CEREBROTONIA
The unique cannot
conform to groups without cutting off parts of self. It hurts to
tolerate stigma status, so being alone is bliss. The conspicuous are
caustically and constantly misjudged in social cultures, so the
recovered anorexic must insist on privacy--for the human herd is
tireless in its malignant scapegoating and gossiping. When the mature
anorexic learns to expect it she finally holds her head up high above
the problem, for to not overcome the human element is to die--this is
one illness only maturity can overcome. If she doesn’t die she
becomes the best in which all now invest. She shapes up by overcoming
the herd’s tendency to think like all one mind, by becoming a
majority of one. Such insulation is one of the major factors in
maturity: most people cannot sustain it as they run to others for
confirmation. A famous female may be hated, but despite the hostile
multitudes if she’s found the True Self she can lead through
aristocratic reserve: She maintains an inner circle of confidants and
a poised, noncommittal and distant though cordial outer circle, and
through this comportment she finally experiences true abundance.
The birdlike
engine--the ectomorph--is just naturally cerebrotonic, desiring
solitude when the “bigs” desire company. She has a vertical relation
with God while the others relate horizontally to man. It seems a
continuous petty sorority party with her excluded: She senses chaos
and disorder of the modern world where children lack discipline and as
it grits her nerves she either worsens or isolates into golden
productivity.
ECTOMORPHY
The thin ectomorph
has far more surface-to-mass area with the lymph and nervous systems
predominant. She is “wearing” her nerves and becomes whatever
effects her as the social situation becomes acute and hurtful.
Being so tiny and easily ticked-off, any added weight becomes an
intolerable burden so the immature anorexic becomes unstable,
uncertain, unconfident, touchy. She dreams of future prosperity to
transcend weighty systems bogging her down just when she feels up.
She feels this ecstasy when alone with just God and her own
identity--so reclusion becomes a must, as important as protein in
keeping her structured and sane. With her, less is more and might does
not make right. The ectomorph must learn the principals of
non-reaction: let solitude and silence fight all battles.
FOOD
DISCIPLINE
There's no more hunger problem
since with the ultra-powerful superfoods it turns off anyway
The anorexic is
labeled “perfectionist-overachiever” as in this era champions are
denigrated and victims have status. She demands discipline in all
things especially food since weight irritates a touchy system. Most
dieters get rule-sloppy, and the “rulish” are seen as neurotic.
Without rigid food discipline one never experiences the great rewards
of doing so, yet to them slipshod lazy discipline seems “righteous”.
Is it really wise to eat anything without fear of the consequences?
Only in a lax society where children hate discipline and chaos
reigns. To soar to the heights you must be rigidly concerned with
food combining, sources of food, insulin elevation and periods of
fasting. Yet to be this way she’s called “orthoexic” with very
hostile reactions to her fasting. It doesn’t matter bliss or
beauty--to the slovenly socials, discipline is “sick.”
ORDER AND ROUTINE
Cerebrotonia is fear
of chaos. It is hardly neurotic to see that chaos is hell and dirty
disorder or that order and discipline brings happiness. But in the
new age of lax-seen-as-freedom it seems neurotic and the anorexic soon
learns to hide her rigid routines. If living with others less
inclined she may be sabotaged or deliberately messed up to “help her
to relax.” For the structured anorexic, living with others can be a
harrowing experience and will surely end in relieved isolation. Her
high goals are only possible when free to be a “strict methodist” of
military-like routine and order and this means being alone. Going
deep with God means saying no to many surface things--then it’s her
soul which sings.
FASTING AS A DEVICE
With Superfoods
daily fasting is a snap
All she wants is
what everyone wants: love, acceptance and space, and in a social
culture this is only possible through solitude. If that’s not
possible she’s learned that fasting works for beauty, self-confidence,
wit and transcendence; and that eating and digestion only brings the
energy down--a tremendous loss. Fasting has been used in all
religions since the beginning of time--it’s the universal device to
get to God’s power and is always followed by reward--like resolution
to a problem, overcoming an enemy, success, health. In this Dionysian
generation of anything-goes you’re-not-going-to-tell-me-what-to-do
rebellion against all authority including legitimate rules or
decisions --fasting is definitely a lost art. I once joined an Atkins
discussion list on the internet. They were all for eating meat, as
much as you want and as many times a day as you want, yet when I
mentioned combining it with long periods of no-hunger fasting they
angrily threw me off the list. It was extremely telling, for the
joys of fasting ecstasy and bliss is lost in this me-now generation of
nothing deeper than the taste-trip. The anorexic knows the joys,
extreme efficiency and sacred spirituality of fasting and this is her
grace and blessing--not her disease.
BLACK SHEEP SEPARATION
Any hypersensitive
slowly or quickly edges into outlaw or black sheep status from the
group as he reacts adversely to what others see as “normal.” This is
difference enough but adding those of eating habits--like food
restrictions or fasting--completely sequesters one from the group.
Whether in family neighborhood or office the ana easily evolves to the
conspicuous or cat’s paw. Like any stigmatized position every act
becomes caricatured through misjudgments and gossip--such is the
plight of independents acting to truth not conformity, to whom all
groups side against. If she knows about insulin and refuses the
bread she becomes a sore thumb in circles valuing the “norm”. All
groups and female culture at large act the same way. If you refuse to
conform they mimic, mock, deride, hate and slander. Stigmata is the
price of choosing your own nutrition. This is the story of her life
and the reason she finally refuses to compete on their turf--but
remains home-centered where her reality is in control.
AVERSION TO LUST AND
AGGRESSION
Does the anorexic
feel superior? Well maybe just more refined. Being thin she prefers
privacy, and lust and aggression are terrible vulgar invasions of the
fine. Her motto is “stay fine…stay free.” In her primitive state she
sought love to deal with family rejection, but when mature sees how it
then turns destructive and controlling. As she becomes a lady with
high boundaries it’s “hands off”. This defines the new Queen whose
boundaries are very hard won. Overcoming sick
relationships-used-as-emotional escapes while gaining strength and
recovery through God is the precedent of success. The war-torn
battleship often ends in celibacy which is marriage to the highest
with no mortal infringement. Sex means officious invasion and
distraction from the goal--her highest calling. As a priest once
said, “celibacy is like a garden which after watering becomes more
beautiful each day.” She just wants to sleep (in readiness for the
next day’s hyper-creativity) when she hits the hay.
SEPARATION FROM FEMALE CULTURE
There’s a herd
(cultural conformity), then two sub-herds (male and female). There is
far more allowance for uniqueness in the male herd while female
culture is a massive impediment to genius. Feminists may say “women
should get up, become, succeed”. But once one does the hens begin to
peck and peck to death. This dates back to paleo times as all through
the centuries females compete for males—to be part of the “superior
class”. Female competition is a real and cruel thing and often the
worst sexists are so-called “feminists.” Am I being cruel here? Well
like the notion of cruelty itself this is a veiled fact which may
take a recovered anorexic to see. Suffice it to say that many
ambitious women end up trusting only men as friends and their sisters
the least of all.
PERCEPTIONS OF FROGS, PIGS OR
HIPPOS
Loving God
or a Gentleman
To the stringently
orderly anorexic encased in cerebrotonic peace and rigid diet
restrictions the world seems a mess, a monotonous mistake, a monster.
The frog symbolizes the “bed-hopper”--how easily they chum-up
together! Social hall religion she will never understand: the world
of banal, bothersome, busybodies seems out-of-touch with their own
bodies and bloodstream. They meet, they eat, they cheat, and while
the body loses logic it becomes “loose”: a lush, a leech, a
lecherous lazy louse. Is she leery? Yes, so she makes lists and
learns to love herself and the most refined, which is God or a
Gentleman.
The pig is
the epitome of swine consciousness, the opposite to self-restraint,
let alone fasting. The hippo symbolizes the agitator who
cannot leave well-enough alone. He gets a little restless and must
hit, hate, harass and huff to make his presence felt. The hippo hates
her hard-won and hallowed humming-along in her own stream. Does she
hate people? No, she’s only a realist who can only take the throne
after forgiving it all.
The Dark
Night of the Soul was felt by all Saints in history, just like Job.
When in darkness never light your own fire through people, habit or
food but just stop work, fast and wait on the Lord
